


Tonight the winds of change are coming over me

by jule1122



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Loves Michael Guerin, Alex has a dog, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, Isobel is a good sister, M/M, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes, Michael Guerin Week 2020, comminucation, referenced Belmanes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26509738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jule1122/pseuds/jule1122
Summary: he watches as her eyes slide to the half filled out University of Arizona application sitting on the end table.  A bright pink sticky note reads “Deadline” in Alex’s neat handwriting followed by a date that’s getting too close to ignore.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 34
Kudos: 147





	Tonight the winds of change are coming over me

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 1 of Michael Guerin Week 2020. Fic Prompt: You don't have to stay."
> 
> Title for "Caution" by The Killers which has a very Michael energy
> 
> I will keep giving Alex a dog until Roswell does.

“So what are you doing for Alex’s birthday?” Isobel asks once they’ve caught up on the latest Max and Liz drama.

Michael makes a face and shrugs. Neither he or Alex have much experience with birthdays and holidays, and so far they’ve navigated them with mixed results. The first year they were together, he let Isobel talk him into throwing Alex a surprise party which he hated. He overcompensated last year by not even acknowledging Alex’s birthday. As the date approaches, Michael’s been struggling to figure out a safe middle ground.

“I can take Maggie for the weekend,” Isobel nods to the beagle she’s been idly stroking for the last hour. As if she heard her name, Maggie burrows deeper into her lap and snorts.

“Why? Maggie’s fine when we go out, if we even go out.”

“But she can’t stay here alone if you spend the weekend in Tucson house hunting. Between Maggie’s howling and Alex’s accessibility needs, you can’t just settle for some random apartment. You’re going to need to rent a house, maybe even think about buying one.” 

Michael doesn’t pretend not to know why she suggested Tucson as he watches as her eyes slide to the half filled out University of Arizona application sitting on the end table. A bright pink sticky note reads “Deadline” in Alex’s neat handwriting followed by a date that’s getting too close to ignore.

The application has been sitting there for weeks; Michael wished he’d remembered to put it away before Isobel came over. “I started that a while back, but it’s nothing serious.”

“Alex thinks it is,” Isobel counters.

“It’s not up to Alex,” Michael snaps, realizing that came out harsher than he intended, he takes a breath before continuing. “It’s something I think about every few years, check out my options, but it’s just curiosity. Academic window shopping,” he adds with a smile. That’s something Isobel should understand. “Things are good now. I’m not looking to make any changes.”

“Just because things are good, doesn’t mean they can’t be better,” Isobel says gently. “Remember how happy you were when Alex’s service was up. Things were good then too, but it doesn’t mean you didn’t want him to retire. Maybe that’s how he feels about you going to school.”

“That was completely different. Alex never should have been in the Air Force at all let alone for as long as he was. Besides, I’m not eighteen any more, Iz. We’ve spent the last three years running from one disaster to another, up to our necks in alien bullshit. Everyone we spend time with knows who we are, I barely pretend to be human anymore. How am I supposed to go back to sitting in a classroom with a bunch of kids, hoping no one figures out my secret?”

“Michael, unless you start floating things around the room and loudly announce you’re from another planet, the idea of you being an alien isn’t going to cross anyone’s mind,” Isobel rolls her eyes at him. “And even if you did that, no one would believe you. People outside Roswell aren’t alien obsessed. What they are going to see is the literal genius they need to suck up to if they want help passing the class. They will be too impressed with your brain to even think about your DNA.”

“I had my chance, and I screwed it up. I can’t go back and fix it.”

“No one’s asking you to go back, but you can go forward. So you screwed up, we all did. But we were just kids, Michael, scared, dumb kids. We were doing the best we could to try and stay safe, to keep our secrets. I know we made a lot of mistakes. We hurt ourselves, and we hurt each other, but we need to forgive ourselves,” Isobel leans across Maggie and takes his hand.

“Greg’s really starting to rub off on you.” As soon as Michael sees the sparkle in her eyes, he realizes what he said. He shakes his head quickly to cut her off, “Forget I said that, please. The last thing I need is details about your sex life with Alex’s brother.”

“Spoilsport,” she teases, before turning serious again. “Greg knows how it feels to regret what you did, or in his case didn’t do, when you were younger. And as relieved as we are that Jesse Manes is dead, killing his father is a lot more complicated for Greg. He’s working through that along with the guilt from what he watched happen to Alex. Seeing him try to make peace with all that has pushed me to deal with my own guilt.”

“You don’t have anything to feel guilty about. Like you said, we were just kids,” Michael interrupts. 

“That’s for me to decide. I’m done playing the innocent, Michael, that’s only ever made things worse. Looking back now, it’s so clear how it all went wrong, but we couldn’t see it then.” Isobel laughs but it’s not a happy sound. “You and Max were ready to move on, to start your lives. Anyone could see how smart the two of you were. And instead of being happy for you, I was terrified. I didn’t know what was happening to me, and I couldn’t see any future for myself. If you and Max left, I thought I would be alone forever, that no one else could ever love me. So I made you stay here so you could never outgrow me.”

“You didn’t force us to do anything. We wanted to stay and help you. We did it because we loved you, it was our choice.”

“Maybe,” Isobel concedes. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t push you in that direction. And it doesn’t mean those were good decisions. We didn’t talk to each other, not about the things we should have, and you and Max were driven by your own issues. Max and his damn hero complex, and you with your belief that you had to suffer to be worthy of love.”

Michael winces as Isobel hits too close to the truth. There’s a reason he hates talking about this stuff. Even with Alex it’s hard, but like Isobel said, the three of them have never found a way to talk about that summer, at least not without hurting each other.

Sensing his discomfort, Isobel squeezes his hand. “I’m not judging you, either of you. I just want you to understand that just because we can’t fix or change the past, doesn’t mean we can’t move forward. I know you wanted to help me, but I don’t need you to protect me any more. You don’t have to stay here. _I_ don’t need you to stay.”

“Isobel,” Michael leans over to hug her. He didn’t know how much he needed to hear her say that. Maybe it’s silly, but he really feels like a weight was lifted off him. “Thank you,” he whispers into her hair.

Tired of being squished between them, Maggie jumps down with an annoyed bark. They both laugh and pull back.

“Anyway,” Isobel says as she wipes her eyes, “Tucson is not that far. We can visit all the time.”

“Yeah,” Michael agrees, hoping it’s true.

“I’m serious. If this is what you want, don’t let me or anyone else hold you back.”

“I won’t,” Michael says, for once confident that he means it.

After Isobel leaves, Michael waits restlessly for Alex to come home. He thinks about finishing the application, but he wants to talk to Alex first. It’s not that he has any doubts that Alex will support him, but he needs this to be something they do together.

His plans for a discussion before dinner go out the window the minute he sees Alex. He’s sun-kissed and sweaty after a day spent at the market with Maria and the gym with Kyle. Michael’s all over him before the door finishes closing, burying his face in Alex’s neck, immersing himself in the taste and scent of him. 

“You could have let me shower first,” Alex teases later once they’ve made it to the bed, and they are both too tired to do more than just enjoy being close to each other.

“Seems like a waste when you just have to shower with me anyway,” Michael props himself up on his elbow and catches the glint in Alex’s eye. “You could have showered at the gym if you were that concerned about it.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Alex pulls him down for a kiss before turning to face Michael. He tucks Michael’s hair behind his ear, smiling at the way Michael leans into his hand. “I like the way you look at me when I come home all sweaty.”

“You noticed, huh,” Michael makes no effort to hide how sexy he thinks Alex is; he never wants Alex to doubt how much he is desired. “You know I look at you like that all the time. I like you sweaty, I like you naked, I like you first thing in the morning and right before you fall asleep, I like you laughing, I like you serious and in charge, and if you give me a few minutes, we’ll take that shower, and I’ll remind you of how much I like you all wet.” Michael punctuates each item on his list with a kiss, each one lingering a little longer than the last. “I love you every way I can get you.”

“I love you too, but you are going to need to give me more than a few minutes if we are going to make the most of the shower,” Alex pushes himself up so he’s leaning against the headboard and pulls Michael to rest against his chest. “How was your visit with Isobel?”

“Good, she wants to keep Maggie the weekend after your birthday.”

“She really needs to get a dog of her own instead of trying to steal ours,” Alex laughs. “Wait, I didn’t know we were going anywhere?”

“She thought we might want to go to Tucson, start looking for a place to stay,” he states it as casually as he can, trying not to make it seem like a big deal.

He feels Alex tense then relax so he tilts his face up so he can see him. “So you’re ready, then? Alex asks with a smile.

Michael nods, a little overwhelmed with the love and pride he can see in Alex’s expression. “Isobel made a good point about looking for a house,” Michael clears his thought and continues “With Maggie and making sure we find something accessible for you, I don’t think an apartment will be a good choice.” 

“You're probably right,” Alex says after a moment. “Maggie needs a yard and some distance from the neighbors when she’s feeling vocal. We can look online then set up tours of the ones we like.”

“I don’t want to sell the house,” Michael blurts out. He bits his lip and starts again, more calmly. “Isobel suggested buying a place, but I’d rather rent. I’m not ready to leave for good.”

“Hey,” Alex runs a hand through Michael’s hair and waits until he has his attention. “No one said anything about selling this place. You have a few years of school before we even need to think about what comes next. We have time to figure it out. I want to be where you are, simple as that, Michael, you know that. I’d rather have our own place to come back to for breaks and holidays anyway.”

Michael takes the reassurance from Alex gratefully. Going to school is going to be enough of an adjustment, he can’t imagine leaving Roswell behind at the same time. He knows Alex doesn’t feel the same way. He’s always wanted to get out. It’s better for him now, with his father dead and Greg around a lot more, but it will never be home to him the same way it is to Michael. 

As relieved as he is that a permanent move is no longer on the table, there is another concern he wants to discuss. “I’ll need to find a job, once we move, maybe two. Without a scholarship, even with loans, school’s expensive.” Alex is quiet long enough that Michale starts to worry. “If you think we can’t afford it right now, we can wait. Another year or two doesn’t really matter at this point.” He knows Alex is doing well with his freelance work, but that doesn’t mean they can afford two households and school right now.

“No, no that’s not a problem.” He feels Alex take a breath, “I was looking at the website, and they accept VA funding.”

“You thinking about going to school with me?” Michael asks, a little surprised because Alex has never mentioned this before.

“No,” Alex wrinkles his nose. “One degree is enough for me.”

“So?” Michael isn’t sure why Alex is bringing this up, but the tension he’s starting to feel from Alex is making him nervous. 

“I’ve been planning this for a while, but then we started talking seriously about you going back to school, and I didn’t want to seem like I was taking advantage.” Alex reaches for Michael’s hand, but his fingers flutter restlessly against Michael’s.

Michael sits up so he’s facing Alex, takes his hand firmly in his own, hoping to ground them both. “Alex, I have no idea where you are going with this, but you can tell me anything.”

“I want to marry you,” Alex says it like a confession. “I want to ask you to marry me, I have for a long time, but I didn’t want to rush you so I was waiting. I want to marry you because I love you and you love me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No other reason.”

Michael feels like his brain shuts down for a minute while he adjusts to a world where Alex wants to marry him, but Alex is still talking so he does his best to focus on what he is saying.

“If we’re married, you could use my GI Bill to pay for school. It would cover everything, even give you some money each month for books and expenses. But I don’t want you to feel pressured to say yes because of that or think I’m holding it over your head. We’ll be fine without it.”

He looks like he can’t figure out if he’s trying to propose or talk Michael out of marrying him. Alex hasn’t looked this uncertain about Michael’s feelings in a long time, and he hates it.

“Alex,” Michael shakes his head and laughs a little, trying to figure out how to respond to that. Only Alex would worry he was using his GI money as an incentive for Michael to marry him without worrying it would be the reason Michael says yes. His faith in Michael’s integrity is both flattering and terrifying.

He takes Alex’s face in his hands, making sure he is looking at him. “Alex,” he begins again. “If you don’t know I’ve been dreaming about marrying you since we were seventeen, you haven’t been paying attention these last few years. I love you, and there’s no future I imagine for myself that doesn’t have you in it. Of course I want to marry you, and the only reason I need to say yes is that you asked me before I worked up the courage to ask you.”

Alex sags in relief, tension leaving his body, “We’re going to get married.”

“Yeah, we are,” Michael’s almost overwhelmed with happiness. He wants to laugh or shout out the window how lucky he is. He settles for hugging Alex then pulling back enough to see his face, to see his own happiness reflected back at him. “I’m going to be your husband.” 

Alex starts to tear up. “Husband,” he says in awe, cupping Michael’s cheek and pulling him in for a quick, hard kiss.

“Where are you going?” Michael asks when Alex moves to get up.

“I have a ring for you,” Alex replies almost shyly. “I’ve wanted this for a long time,” he says again as if he needs Michael to believe him.

“Later,” Michael places his hand on Alex’s chest to hold him in place. As much as he wants to wear Alex’s ring, he wants this moment with him more. “Later,” he repeats as he moves to straddle Alex’s lap. “Let me celebrate with my fiance first.”


End file.
